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Laff away your sorrow season 1

Weekend jokes

1. When girl or woman is on her period and she sits

on a table, that table automatically becomes a

periodic table……lol…(science student)…argue wit

ya ancestors


2. After giving him all ur styles in bed, he stil says

the person dat will marry u wil be verry

lucky……..my sister mix ur menstruation in his

wine,add tramadol,kaikai,sniper nd dog shit! He is a

satan.!! ayemi temi bami


3. I lack trust for all these girls that visits me wit big

big hand bags. I nearly lost my Vita foam nd

Television, if nt for quick intervention nd




4. Peter : my antelope in d bush

Girl : Peter baby ..how do u see my makeup

Peter : but baby,, u don’t need make ups to look

beautiful o…

WIFE : Oh Peter baby u ar so sweet.

Peter : Yes oo! U need plastic surgery,u are looking

like bobrisky dis days……


She fainted, woke up after 40 days fasting nd prayer


5. To all de girls who visit their bf and put flight

mode (air plane mode) in their fone…..weldone

miss pilot, ur plane will crash one day…….mtche



6. Somebody wil hug u nd ur iphone will get missing,

is that not a good example of “nigerian got talent”…


7. Benue state girls, pls it is not Ear force but Air

force. Stop giving me headache!…


8. Dating a slim guy is romantic,, the problem is

wen u sleep on his body nd his ribs start drawing

addidas line on ur face……..I laff in Japan



Chisos! Who throw dat stone??? Slim guys abeg no

vex….na joke I dey


9. ADESUA Never Put Up A Picture Of BANKY W,

Neither Did She Change Her Name To OLORI-Banky

or Nkan BANKY Yet She Got The Ring

But You, becus One Guy Ask U Out, U’ll upload 50pix,

15Vidoes & Change Ur Name To Olori G-wire, Mhiz-

Funds BOO,

Weh_don_ma , HOE-LO-RI, Awon Slay Rubbish,

Pepper Dem fools

Don’t beat me, I’m on my period


10. Nations like USA and North Korea are testing

ballistic missiles and Nuclear weapons……Our dear

Nigeria is dragging Jollof rice supremacy with Ghana

and Senegal.

Bikonu who swear 4 us like this??


11. That awkward moment When you are too single

that even when you type “kissing” auto correct

changes it to “kidding.”…… May your story change

in this 2019


12. People on WhatsApp that

their status has been “At the

gym” for the past 3

yrs..ah broda please are you preparing for

World war 4 ?


13. You will tell a girl you’re single and she will be

like “Peter That can’t be


Hanty, if you want toast, toast, don’t be dragging my


with me, is it your singleness??Mtc



14. Boys in “best love stories” will wake up by 2am

to pee and they will post “Real Hustlers Don’t Sleep”

Idiot ,ole,ritualist Who are You Deceiving???

Don’t touch me ooo, Ah no well this evening.


15. Yoruba people and their indirect insults sha.

Please what is the meaning of “As I see that

trouser, I just know say na you”ewoo

Wicked pple…


16.EPL Clubs and their ranking

1. Liverpool – Gold

2.Tottenham Hotspur – Silver

3.Man City – Bronze

4. Chelsea – Aluminum

5.Arsenal – Wood

6.Man-U – Mosquito Coil

Am in my house, Comma beat me…


17. My sister drag ur ears very well

Don’t be fooled by these guys,.. Not all men in a

suit are rich ….

Some are Choir masters……


18. When You Want to Charge your phone In a

Football Viewing centre and You Mistakenly Off The

DSTV during penalty shoot out..

shey you remember when your mum always tell you

that your phone will kill you one day ?.. The moment

has finally come.. Just get ready to die


19.One person I hate most

in this life is that MTN

girl dat always say ” one

minute remaining ” I

hate dat girl


20.You are feeling sad, and u tagged me ,am I with

ur happiness? If u want to be sad pls be sad alone


21.After dating you for 5 years and promising you

marriage, he now broke up with you

Wipe your tears my darling, I know a native doctor

in ijebu.


22 .Just heard my neighbor singing,

Am walking in power

Am walking in Oracle

I leave my rice for favour

Cos I know umahia.

Pls what should I tell her?


23.Have you noticed that Girls have “Three Voices”:


ONE , Is used when answering calls


TWO , The other one at home when

she is talking to her siblings (Her Original Voice) ®

THREE , Is used when she’s talking to her “Bae”


24.Pls kindly ignore any news or rumor of me

Benjamin Odera coming out for

PRESIDENTIAL election in 2019.

I have not declared my intentions yet, they are still

begging me


25.At the age of 25 you cannot cook, wash clothes,

sweep and you want men to love you for who you


Sister, please who are you??


26.Fat girls are the most selfish people in the world,

dey will sit down

with mini skirt and u will see nothing..


27.I don’t even trust English

Why is it dat “Give her her book” is correct and

“Give him him book is not correct”?

pls my pple help me explain

Is English a female?


28.How come you post on your birthday “Wow I

can’t believe am +1 today” so if you don’t believe is

we that will believe abi?!

I can see the stupidity in you…


29. One thing with dis group is dat dey read ur post

without commenting. If they eventually like it, to

comment come be war.

But don’t worry.

May boiled, fried, cooked,hot and cold Thunder visit u  and may your phone catch fire in chisus name.



<b> I cannor comman kill myself

Posted by on January 12, 2019.


Categories: Jokes

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